“Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared.” Ephesians 6:14-15 (NLT)

I’m somewhat ashamed to admit it – but I have a “mild” shoe fetish. Actually, maybe it’s slightly more serious than just “mild.” Probably above average. Okay, okay, already. It’s moderate to severe! So, shoe me already! Sorry, Freudian slip – of course what I meant to say was, “sue me!” (You see what I mean?)

Why shoes, you may ask? The answer is twofold. Shoes are the one fashion staple a girl can never have too many of because, let’s face it, not every occasion can be solved with a simple black shoe. (I’ve got 21 pairs of black shoes!) Sometimes you need more than a flip-flop, a wedge or a pump. (I have several of each.) Sometimes it takes a satiny, rhinestone-encrusted, strappy little trampy sandal to get the job done. (Yep, got those too, although I’m not entirely sure what kind of “job” a girl could do in those. Well, maybe … no – let’s not go there.) And secondly – shoes are the one thing a girl can count on to fit every time, in every situation – even when she’s eaten her weight in Oreos or been on a two-day Ben and Jerry’s binge.

Shoes are forgiving. While we may have “blousy” shirts or “fat-girl” jeans to cover up our feeding frenzy indiscretions, we NEVER need to keep a pair of doublewide tennis shoes hidden in the back of the closet. Shoes never judge us or require us to ask, “do these sandals make my feet look big” nor do they necessitate a three-day fast or a bazillion sit-ups just so we can squeeze into them.

While it’s true some shoes can make the ankles look thicker or the calves appear chunkier – a girl just needs to pick the right style for her body type and go with it. Shoe selections are much more vast than say – jean selections. Today we live in a world where jeans are designed to be hip-hugging pants for size “0” stick girls (seriously … size “0?") to maximize the tramp stamps on their lower backs and show off their thong panties! I say hallelujah for footwear that only shows off my toe rings and at-home, do-it-yourself pedicure. I’d much rather wear a pair of shoes that might make my ankles appear somewhat chunky as opposed to crack pant jeans that allow my muffin top to spill over and expose my generous backside.

My shoe obsession has included several really poor choices in the past –poor meaning, I’ve bought more than one pair of shoes that were completely uncomfortable, impractical and unforgiving. What girl hasn’t? My most recent poor choice: a neutral color wedge, a half-size too small – but soooo cute and totally on sale. My propensity for justifying bad choices convinced me I could not find a shoe to go with a pair of navy pants and the neutral color worked in a pinch. (And my, oh my – did they ever pinch!) Like most women though, I continue to wear them, hoping they’ll stretch – which of course they won’t - so I’ll eventually get real and give them away or sell them at my next yard sale. It’s a vicious, but necessary cycle that perpetuates the need to buy more shoes.

Because my obsession is so profound, I rarely buy a shoe that’s full price. I stick to outlet stores, second-hand stores (don’t judge me) and always seek out the red-tag clearance deals in department stores, which I suppose accounts for the 21 pairs of aforementioned black shoes. Second hand stores are great for finding hidden treasure when it comes to shoes. Because so many of us women buy uncomfortable, poor fitting shoes we need to clear our consciences by donating them to charitable organizations who then resell them. It’s a win-win situation. Oftentimes you can find like new, brand-name shoes barely worn at a real bargain. A few weeks ago I purchased four pair of shoes at a second hand store and spent a mere $10.00 for all four pairs combined. Now matter how you look at it – that’s a smokin’ deal!

Last week my daughter and I were shopping at the mall for prom shoes. While perusing the racks and displays in a popular store, I eyed a young girl prancing around in a pair of satiny yellow rhinestone 4” stilettos trying to get a feel for the overall look of her prom dress/shoe combination. If I personally had never done the same thing, it would have been quite comical. The girl, who looked to be about 17, draped her canary yellow dress down her front with the hanger flopping on her back as she attempted to “walk” around the store. (Although “walk” is the operative word, she was doing anything but walking.) Her facial expressions registered about an eight on the pain meter if her pinched face and pursed lips were any indication of the comfort level of the spiked heels. Clearly this girl wasn’t schooled in runway modeling. She teetered and wobbled like an inexperienced tightrope walker attempting to traverse a dangerous ravine. She pitched and stumbled and grabbed her friend’s hand for support before finally collapsing in a nearby chair.

One of her friends asked her “So, how do they feel?” To which she boldly proclaimed, “Well they’re a little tight and hard to walk in … but oh my gosh … they’re SO cute! And they match the dress perfectly!” Her friends’ gushed encouragement reminding her that she could always take them off once the dancing started.

I had to smile and walk away realizing those three young girls summarized a hundred years worth of feminine reasoning with their simple logic. Why do we buy shoes that hurt our feet … don’t fit properly … we’ll end up carrying around in our hands all night, and … most likely will NEVER wear again? Because they’re sooooo cute and they match our outfit perfectly! While it makes no sense to members of the opposite sex – we women get it. It doesn’t always have to make sense. That’s just how we rationalize it. If the men don’t get it, or my husband doesn’t understand my thinking, you know what I say about it? “So shoe me!”

Oh give thanks unto the Lord for His mercy endures forever!