Diet & Wisdom Appetizers

If ever there was a reason to eat my weight in Oreos or Old-Fashioned Donuts, it would be today. I’m so sad and depressed because my beloved Phoenix Suns once again lost their bid for an NBA championship by failing to make it past the L.A. Lakers last night.

While some may say “it’s only a stupid game,” I tend to have a different opinion. When you’ve spent six months plus following a team and come to know and love the players almost like old family friends, it smarts to see their hopes dashed or in this case, crushed and/or destroyed.

This morning as I was preparing for church I felt a heaviness and sadness for my favorite Suns as they’ve repeatedly come close to advancing to the final round only to come up short. They’ve only been to finals once in the last few decades. That of course resulted in an excruciating loss that required the most die-hard fans to seek professional therapy.

That started me thinking about my journey to get healthy, lose weight and successfully maintain that weight loss. Being the person that I am, I have a way of seeing the analogies between basketball and weight loss. Hmm, really? (Admit it, that’s what you’re thinking.)

I’ve managed to get really close many times, actually reaching my goal briefly, but failed with long-term maintenance. For me, I don’t consider losing the weight the end of the battle. There must be long-term maintenance to deem weight loss a total success.

Just like my Suns team, I’ve gotten close enough to smell the victory only to stumble and fall ruining my chances of claiming the ultimate prize. For the Suns the prize is a championship ring and bragging rights as the best team in the NBA. For me it’s a healthy body weight, smaller clothes and bragging rights that I actually weigh what it says on my driver’s license.

In the grand scheme of life, championship basketball rings really don’t compare with a strong healthy body, normal blood pressure and blood sugar levels and great cholesterol readings.

In the grand scheme of life if I hope to stick around long enough on planet Earth to celebrate my Phoenix Suns actually winning a championship I need to plan ahead. Admittedly that could take a long, long time so I need a healthy program for the long haul and must start to get healthy now.

If this past playoff season is any indication, the amount of tension, yelling, screaming and rising blood pressure that goes on in my house during a game will require all spectators to be in optimal (not just good) overall health.

Watching your team suffer the agony of defeat yet again is very detrimental to your health. I’d rather not risk a stroke or heart attack from watching just a game. In my family, spectator sports are anything but a game. More like a stimulating high-energy, combustible ball of team spirit ready to ignite at the mere thought of victory and implode with close games that result in yet another disappointing defeat.

What a thrill ride this has been! I’m not sure my heart can take another season.

Pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit. ~Author Unknown

1 O LORD, I give my life to you. 2 I trust in you, my God! Do not let me be disgraced, or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat. Psalm 25:1-2 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I pray that you will not let my enemy defeat me on this journey to lose weight and get healthy. Help me to work hard, stay strong and keep my eye on the prize. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

As a mother of three adult children (all currently enrolled in college) I’m tickled pink when they have a break from school. The main reason for my state of euphoria is because two of the three have regular jobs they return to once they’re out of school. The sound of my hard-earned money being sucked down the giant vortex of college related expenses temporarily subsides for a few months.

Because I’m so delighted the kids are working I hate to voice even a smidgen of complaint regarding their various places of employment, but occasionally I feel the need to vent. So this is not whining, just venting.

My son has been working a bread route with a friend and while it’s generally a 12-14 hour shift for him, as a 21-one-year-old young man he’s thrilled with the perks of a bread route.

Before he restocks the shelves with fresh bread (in every variety and flavor known to man), as well as bagels, buns (both hot dog and hamburger), english muffins, pitas, dinner rolls and donuts, he’s required to remove any bread nearing its expiration. He was invited to help himself to whatever castaways he wanted - and so of course – he’s done just that, and then some!

Suffice it to say, this young man thinks he’s hit the mother lode of carbohydrates – and of course he’s bringing it all home to where I live as well! How is a girl with a major food addiction and a particular passion for all things bread supposed to handle this type of cruel and inhuman punishment?

After gently venting to him one day, he did indulge me by bringing home the reduced calorie bread for which I’m profoundly grateful. Apparently the diet breads are a big seller since half the known world (or at least the tri-state area) is dieting so reduced calorie bread doesn’t last on the shelves for long so there aren’t many castaways.

For the most part, I’ve done pretty well not eating most of the goodies, but I must confess the one item that’s giving me the most grief is the Old-Fashioned Donuts. OMG even a mere small bite of the golden orbs of ecstasy taste like little drops of heaven.

To my credit when I’ve succumbed to the pull of the temptation, I’ve settled for only half a donut which is 135 calories, and I’ve recorded that on my menu plan. I suppose if there were a bright side to this situation it would be that this is just a temporary job for him. As much as I’m counting the days until the bread and donuts disappear I’m sad when the job is done because that will mean he’s heading back to college.

There was a time when he first left for college three years ago that I would have been so depressed at his leaving I could have eaten my weight in Old-Fashioned Donuts until the depression subsided. Luckily, I’ve matured since then and that’s no longer an option. Man, maturity is a real bummer some days!

Oh, wouldn’t the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at? ~W.S. Gilbert

Soon the people began to complain about their hardship, and the Lord heard everything they said. Then the Lord’s anger blazed against them, and he sent a fire to rage among them, and he destroyed some of the people in the outskirts of the camp. Numbers 11:1 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my soul be pleasing to you. Let only praise and rejoicing be on my lips! I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

So here I am, one-day post epiphany wondering where I go from here. Self-realization can be a bit overwhelming and if I wasn’t already addicted to food I’d be sorely tempted to dive face first into a giant vat of Oreos. Dirtying my hands digging in the dirt of my childhood emotional issues is enough to make me want to binge, but so far I’ve resisted – but only by the grace of God.

Last night I went to my support group. Purging your soul with friends who understand first-hand the struggle of addiction is very therapeutic. To unburden your heart and share your innermost hurts doesn’t exactly register high on the fun-o-meter, but in order to be healed, it’s necessary. Confession is always good for the soul.

Confessing my fears may have enlightened me, but I’m no closer to dealing with this fear-driven addiction I have. Turns out, I’ve got so many fears ruminating around on the inside of me, I’d have a shorter list if I confessed the things I WASN’T afraid of as opposed to the things I AM afraid of.

Some of my childhood fears were age-specific or situational and many of those fears no longer have power over me. The sad truth is I’ve merely recycled some of those long-ago fears and I’m simply dressing them differently now.

That fear of failure is huge, as is the fear of rejection. Those seem to be the fear forerunners. I’m sure if a poll were conducted both of these fears probably head the list of what drives most addictions. Identifying the problem is the first step towards healing but I can’t let the knowledge give me a license to sit idle while I figure things out.

Sure it’d be nice to wait around for God to continue his chipping away of my outer shell, but quite frankly I’m sick and tired of me and my issues and am anxious to clear all this junk out. Self-realization is somewhat liberating even though I’m a long way from healed. The only conclusion I’ve come to at this juncture is I’ve wasted too many decades (yes I said decades) on me and my stupid issues.

It’s time to be about the business of healing. It’s time to be about the business of moving on. And it’s time to be about God’s business. There’s work to be done and the time for the devil to have his way with me is over. (Do you smell that? I think that must be the scent of victory and it smells delicious!)

The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life. ~Muhammad Ali

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."6So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6 (NIV)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I know you have a good plan for my life. I thank you for spiritual enlightenment. May I continue to grow and mature as you chip away my fears Lord. I will trust in you always. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

This morning as I was spending time in the Word and quiet time before the Lord, the central theme of my prayers and the burning ache in my heart was, “Lord, what is at the bottom of this food addiction of mine?”

Those prayers were made after I finished my breakfast (about 360 calories worth) and still felt the need to scrounge for something sweet. I wacked off a hunk of a dark chocolate Hershey bar (about 50 calories worth) and still wasn’t satisfied so I helped myself to one of my husband’s no-so-secret stash of shortbread cookies.

By the time all was said and done the combination of my planned breakfast and my impromptu snacks (which didn’t even satisfy me, BTW) I realized I’d already consumed HALF of my daily calorie allowance and it was barely 9:00 a.m. Lord Jesus, help me! I’m in trouble.

That’s when I headed upstairs and put as much distance between me and the kitchen as possible and fell into my prayer chair. I wrote in my journal. I read several OA (Overeaters Anonymous) resource books. I read the Word. I prayed and then I prayed some more. I got still before the Lord and … waited for God to impart great wisdom to me.

I’d just finished reading the first chapter of 2 Chronicles where God visited Solomon in a dream. God told Solomon he could ask Him for anything and Solomon asked for wisdom. God was impressed that Solomon didn’t ask for riches, honor, long life or even the death of his enemies – but wisdom for governing God’s people. God was so impressed, not only did He give Solomon what he asked for – He gave him what he didn’t ask for.

As I sat silent before the Lord, I prayed for wisdom to understand why I turn to food instead of God. I didn’t exactly receive a vision in a dream, but the first thing I read after my quiet time was I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I read that God predestined me (Ephesians 1) for a great life and that he knew me before I was even born. (Psalm 139)

All that was comforting and I started feeling as though God impressed upon me that as much as I write about “it’s not what’s on the outside – but what’s on the inside,” I don’t fully believe that for myself yet. I believe God wants me to learn to love myself at this weight and see myself as He sees me and believe that I’m important to Him no matter what I weigh. But I hate myself at this weight so how is that possible?

While I can write that in a book or a blog and believe that for all of my beautiful sisters around me – I can’t believe it for myself because I’m cloaked in a garment of fear. Fear – what am I afraid of? Somehow I’m afraid to let go of this excess layer of body fat because I’ve always laughingly considered it my “protective layer.”

Even though I despise the way I look, I’m safe under this protective layer because without even realizing it, my excess weight makes me feel like a failure. I’ve failed God by not taking care of the “temple” He’s entrusted to me. And because I’m a failure and I know it, He won’t expect much from me and therein lays the root of my problem.

Quite simply - I’m afraid to be used by God. I’m afraid He’ll ask something too hard of me and I will fail Him on an even grander scale.

Its one thing to be a failure to yourself and in private, but altogether different to be a failure to those around you or out in public. The personality trait I despise most about myself is I hate to look like a fool. I can’t act silly or “let myself go.” I go to great lengths to avoid looking foolish and if I were to do what God wants me to do, I run the risk of not only looking foolish, but also failing, and failing miserably.

How’s that for dime store analysis? The question now that I’ve pinpointed the problem is: how do I fix this? Clearly, I cannot, but God surely can.

You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. ~Mary Manin Morrissey

4 “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. Isaiah 54:4 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord this is my prayer for today: 7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT). Help me to live this scripture and believe it in my soul. I ask all these things in your holy name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I awoke in the middle of the night a few nights ago and for whatever reason was ravenously hungry. My stomach was so empty and grumbled so loudly, I couldn’t fall back asleep. Midnight hunger is not something I usually battle with so I did my best to ignore it.

Even though I’ve been battling food addictions for a couple of decades, I’ve got certain hard and fast food rules that I strictly adhere to regardless of the circumstances. The one rule I never break is I NEVER eat in the middle of the night. I know there are many people that make a regular habit of midnight snacks and you’ll get no judgment from me – I promise. But for some reason that’s an unpardonable sin to me personally so I’ve never done that.

The main reason for my thinking is if I eat in the middle of the night and then go back to sleep, I’ve got all this food just sitting in my stomach and I’m convinced that midnight calories morph into excess body fat at a quicker rate of return than food eaten during daylight hours.

The mere fact that people who eat in the middle of the night rarely follow their late hour binges with a brisk walk or a quick workout would lead me to believe that food eaten during bedtime hours can do nothing BUT turn into stored fat. So why risk it, I always say.

However, what is one to do when they wake up and the grumbling tummy is so loud and obnoxious that sleep is impossible? For me, the solution was trial and error. I got up went to the bathroom, checked on the sleeping kids, had a drink of water and then another until eventually, the tummy quieted enough for me to be able to return to bed.

Somehow it seems like cruel and unusual punishment for our bodies to have a mind of their own and haunt us with hunger when we’re sleeping. I mean, isn’t it bad enough that we have to face hunger or cravings during our waking hours? Does the enemy have to attack us while we’re sound asleep too?

Because clearly there are some things we simply can’t control, my advice is the same for all uncontrollable situations. Pray. If that doesn’t produce immediate results reword your prayers and ask God for peace and strength because those are things that God can impart to us rather quickly.

Midnight cravings don’t seem fair, but even when we’re practically unconscious, it doesn’t hurt to go to bed in our “armor jammies.” Have some Scriptures committed to memory so even when you’re sleepy, you can dwell on the Word of God to get you through those midnight cravings.

And if tonight my soul may find her peace in sleep, and sink in good oblivion, and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.
~D.H. Lawrence

20 David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. 1 Chronicles 28:20 (NIV)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you for the Scriptures I’ve buried in my heart so when I wake disturbed in the middle of the night I can seek your comfort. Thank you Lord, for all your many blessings. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

Yesterday I was discussing the importance of good oral hygiene. I started thinking about how in order to be successful on our weight loss journey it is extremely important to maintain good oral hygiene with regards to what we’re putting into our months. Obviously that means we need to take care with what kinds of foods we are eating.

But, equally important when it comes to our oral hygiene – we need to be careful with what comes OUT of our mouths as well. Basically this means we need to guard the words that we speak in relation to our food program and when talking about ourselves.

If we are constantly spewing forth negative comments about how fat we are or how it’s impossible to lose weight, we’re practically paving the road for Satan to come in and have a free-for-all with our lives. The book of Job says it better than I can: What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. Job 3:25 (NIV)

We need to face every day of our journey to better health with optimism and excitement, not discouragement and dread. It wouldn’t hurt to get a mental picture in your mind of what you’re hoping to look like once you’ve successfully lost your desired weight. (Be realistic according to your age, body type and height.) Carry that image in your brain especially at meal time and repeat Psalm 141:3 before you dive into your meal.

Ask God to help you to resist temptation not merely one time, but each and every time you’re ready to sit down for a meal. Most importantly, EXPECT God to come through for you and give you the strength you need to be successful.

The best way to lose weight: LOSE the bad attitude and negative talk and clean up your thoughts and your mouth. Practice good oral hygiene!

Being an optimist after you’ve got everything you want doesn’t count. ~Kin Hubbard

3 Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3 (NIV)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I ask that you would set a guard over my mouth and my mind. Help my thoughts to be positive and focused on success. Help my mouth to be positive and speak only good things rather than negative words. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I went to the dentist for my six month cleaning today. I take my oral hygiene VERY seriously. During my 45-minute visit I felt the need to let my mind wander so I wouldn’t fixate on the sharp metal hooks digging at my tender gum tissue. I have such sensitive teeth and gums, it’s torture for me when anyone near me is eating and lets their fork clang against their teeth. It gives me the willies. The need to disengage my brain from the scraping in my mouth during my routine cleaning is a matter of mental self-preservation for me.

During my mental lollygagging I started thinking about how nice it would be if someone would invent a tool similar to that of the Water-Pik that’s designed to blast away plaque between your teeth. Something like an at-home liposuction fat blaster. You could aim the tool at those deposits of excess fat that you stuff and zip in your jeans or stretch and stuff under the back of your bra.

For me I’d aim the fat blaster at that dangly stuff under my arms that my darling daughter refers to as my “bingo arms.” (Aptly named for those blue-haired casino senior ladies who are addicted to Bingo. When they get a bingo, they thrust their arms in the arm and wave them madly about yelling, “Bingo! I’ve got a Bingo!” Sadly for those seated in the no-fly zone next to them, those fatty arm sacks keep swinging long after the Bingo has been confirmed.)

While there are various types of exercise equipment and apparatus designed to target problem areas like your hips and buttocks, most of them mainly lighten your wallet as opposed to your glutes. Point in fact, I was probably one of the first to buy a hip and thigh machine that targeted all those areas below the waist. After literally wearing the thing out over the course of a three-year period, my hips, thighs and buttocks remained virtually unchanged. Sure, I may have tightened the fat, but I didn’t eliminate it.

And yes, I even went so far as to have very expensive (and might I add painful) liposuction surgery on those problem areas nearly 20-years ago. Twenty years later the five liters of fat I had sucked from my lower half is back and it brought company with it. I didn’t stick to a healthy eating plan so naturally I regained the weight. No surprise.

Isometric exercise has been proven to be very ineffective. (If isometric exercise worked, people who chew gum regularly would not have double chins and would have thin faces.) Do not confuse isometric exercise with weight lifting exercises. Using weight resistance to target body parts – arms, legs, abs and glutes, absolutely does work. The key to reshaping or sculpting your body is a combination of healthy, balanced eating with a program that does not exceed a certain amount of calories. (I recently was turned on to a fabulous website that figures out your calorie consumption based on age, weight and height. Check it out at: http://nutrition.about.com/od/changeyourdiet/a/calguide.htm)

In addition to watching your calorie intake to resculpt your body you need an equal balance of cardio exercise and weight and/or strength training. Most importantly (but the most difficult concept to grasp) when it comes to weight loss is – you’ve got to do the work and you’ve got to be consistent.

Sadly there are no easy fixes, no at-home liposuction fat blasters – just good old fashioned hard work. Sorry, I wish it weren’t so, but if you want to look good and feel good the only answer is hard work, then maintenance. The principle is no different than maintaining good oral hygiene. Regular cleanings and check-ups aren’t fun, but they’ll keep your teeth and gums healthy for as long as you have them.

Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it. ~Plato

9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you. Romans 8:9-11 (NIV)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, help me to be willing to do the work necessary to reshape my body. Help me to be consistent and I ask that you will lift me up when I am weak or feeling too lazy to do the work. Help me to focus on what I hope to look like once I’ve lost the weight and may that image constantly encourage me. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

It’s amazing how you can be trucking along with God minding your own business and then SUDDENLY God decides it’s time to peel back another layer of your dysfunctional past so he can get to your marshmallow center. The past few days the layers God has been peeling back have been particularly uncomfortable but very liberating once the smelly layer of my insecurities have been revealed to me.

Honestly, it is not even God’s fault for picking at these scabbed over wounds since over the last couple of weeks I’ve immersed myself with enough reading material on the subject of insecurity, living confident lives and learning to love myself to seriously choke a large Clydesdale.

I’m the one who finally decided to pry open this Pandora’s Box so the issues I’m being forced to examine come as no surprise to me. I’ve been praying for healing over some of these major personality issues for decades. There comes a time in every life when we’ve got to stop riding the denial roller coaster and disembark to reality. Ouch, life sucks sometimes, doesn’t it?

One of the things I’ve been forced to deal with has been my particular issue with my snacking “witching hour.” For as long as I can remember, the hours between 3:00 and 5:00 in the afternoon have been my trigger times of day. During this two-hour window my behavior mimics a trained lab animal causing a Pavlov’s dog reaction and I MUST eat between those times.

Regardless of when I have lunch, even if I eat a late lunch and I’m stuffed to the gills, once 3:00 p.m. rolls around I start frothing at the mouth, I feel as though there are a hive of bees buzzing around in my brain and I became so physically agitated that my pupils dilate and my blood pressure rises slightly (probably from all the pounding in my brain from the buzzing bees).

I started seeking God and praying for why this trigger time was so physical and what was at the core of this anomoly. After a lot of self-examination and prayer God revealed to me that this behavior started in my early teen years; a direct result of my dysfunctional home life and some very inappropriate behavior of a male figure living in our home at that time.

I’ll spare you the gory details as it’s not something that bears repeating but suffice it say, once God revealed to me the root cause of that specific trigger time of day, I shared with a trusted friend who prayed for me and I believe it’s an issue that’s been laid to rest – finally. I believe now that I’ve shined a light on the cause it no longer has the power to haunt me. Since my revelation and prayer, I can say with all honesty, my witching hour hasn’t been an issue whatsoever.

[Insert deep cleansing breath here!]

Freedom smells so sweet and it feels as though a large anchor has been lifted from my shoulders now that I’ve gotten this monkey off my back. I realize this revelation is merely the tip of the iceberg, so we’ll call this Part One. I’m not sure when God will get to Part Two and any other parts to come, but I still feel him in there digging around so I believe I smell another blog post in here somewhere. Stay tuned.

All men should strive
to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.
~James Thurber

28″Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 28:28-30 (NIV)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you for taking my burdens and carrying them. I thank you for rest from these troublesome emotional burdens. Give me the courage and the strength to face whatever remaining issues you wish to uncover from my past. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I went to a “girl” party today for a popular brand of makeup and skin care products. I had a perfectly delightful time surrounded by beautiful woman of varying ages. It didn’t take long for this lovely group of women to start bandying about negative comments about themselves and their various skin complaints. I’m sure I was the ring leader as it never takes me long to highlight the negative things about myself that seem so obvious to me.

One must be full of humor and good cheer when you’re sitting around with your hair pulled back by a headband and your face naked and exposed with nary a lick of makeup on high lighting every age spot, wrinkle and/or spider veins.

I’m of the mind that it’s better to get it out in the open and laugh about our flaws and shortcomings as early as possible rather than sitting there ignoring them. And yes, laughing about my flaws comes quite naturally to me because those flaws are built on a solid foundation of major insecurity.

As skin care products were introduced and passed around I’m sure I wasn’t the only one hoping that the exfoliate skin scrub would magically erase all of those facial anomalies on my face I work so hard at disguising under a protective layer of sunscreen and liquid makeup.

I find it amusing that women are quick to point out their own flaws but so readily complimentary to the women sitting on either side of them – be they friend or perfect strange. Clearly there must be a hidden clause in our birth certificates that requires us to belittle ourselves while at the same time encouraging another female. Seriously, why do we do that?

As the morning progressed we ran the gamut listing our many flaws: weight, skin, age and personality defects. I’m sure the enemy was secretly delighted to have played such a huge part in our verbal lambasting of ourselves. It wasn’t until one of the women spoke up by saying, “Shame on us! We’re all beautiful women of God and we should not be speaking this way about ourselves!”

Amen Sister!

I started meditating on how grieved our heavenly Father must be when he hears his precious daughters bemoaning their perceived physical imperfections. But tearing ourselves down seems to come so much more naturally than building ourselves up as we worry about crossing over into conceit. Somewhere out there, there must be a healthy balance.

As women of God we must be willing to embrace the idea that true beauty comes from the Holy Spirit living inside us and not from what we weigh, what size we wear, what our age is or what kind of skin care products we use to disguise ourselves. I know – easier said than done. How about if I go first and pledge to get up and look myself in the mirror every morning and tell myself that I’m a beautiful woman of God. AND I promise to do this every day for as long as it takes until I can say it without wanting to gag. It might take a while, but I’m game if you are!

Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye. ~Grey Livingston

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. Proverbs 31:30 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and I delight in the work of your hand. May I always appreciate the effort you put into creating me and help me to be comfortable in my own skin. Thank you for all the blessings in my life. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I went for a long bike ride this morning and it was glorious. The weather was beautiful and the fresh air did wonders for my CHE (chemicals, hormones and emotions). I suspect skipping exercise for two days in a row may have been responsible for me being out of synch yesterday. As with most things, I tend to see life analogies or think metaphorically whenever possible. This morning’s bike ride provided ample metaphors to reflect on.

The trail that I chose for my ride today has four major hills. I’ve been avoiding these hills most days when I ride for the simple reason I didn’t want to be one of those people who didn’t have enough power to ride back up the hills. The idea of having to get off my bike and push it back up a hill was more than my fragile ego could bear so I’ve been riding on alternate trails that have no hills.

For whatever reason (maybe because I felt well-rested) I decided to try my luck at the hilly trail today. Naturally the downward slopes were easy and quite invigorating. It was a great feeling to let Mr. Gravity take over as I glided effortlessly down the hill, the wind in my hair, the whoosh of excitement of flying without wings and of course dodging the gnats in my face.

As the rule of gravity goes, what goes down must come up and I had to pump my short squatty legs for all they were worth to make it back up the hills. I’m pleased to report I did it, although on the last hill with my energy spent I had to stand up in the seat and use every ounce of leg muscle to turn the pedals. Mission accomplished – I made it home, tired and sore in places I’d forgotten existed, but still feeling somewhat the victor for attacking the hills.

Somewhere mid-ride I started thinking about how losing weight and bike riding had a lot of parallels. For instance in the beginning of any weight loss program the average person (not me of course) does fairly well because a new program is exciting and the weight comes off rather easily. Some people can boast a 2-5 pound (or more) weight loss each week for the first couple of weeks.

Just like gliding downhill on a bike, those pounds fly off easily with little or no effort. As we cruise through the first few weeks of a weight loss program we may even start to think that weight loss is easy and we don’t have to work very hard at.

It’s in the days when we know the easy part is over and we have to start pedaling back up a hill that we realize we’re really going to have to get busy and start using a lot more energy. Once the human body figures out what’s going on with our diets and we’ve cut our calories back and lost some weight, the body’s natural tendencies take over and it stops dropping that easy weight. Our bodies start holding on to the food it’s given and stores it for fuel because it thinks it’s being starved.

That’s when the serious dieter has to stand up and start pedaling for all they are worth if they’re going to make it up the hill of lifelong weight loss success. Literally we need to stand on the Word of God and proclaim that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and no weapon formed against me will prosper and hundreds more. We need to dig deep into our faith reserves and believe in ourselves, our weight loss program and above all our Savior who wants us to live healthy lives.

We need to stick to the path set before us with proper balance in our meals and exercise and not look for the shortcuts that lead to dead ends like diet pills that promise easy weight loss and lighten only our wallets and not our waistlines. There are no shortcuts to lifelong weight loss only hard work. And yes - there are going to be hills, some may only be speedbumps, but some may feel like Mt. Everest. If you’ve got to stand up to pedal harder it’s okay, it’s better than falling off altogether. Tell yourself I think I can, I think I can and with each pound loss change that to I KNOW I CAN!

Whether you think you can or think you can’t - you are right. ~Henry Ford

13 Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I rejoice in your Word and thank you for life affirming promises. Increase my faith and make me stronger. Help me to believe that you are with me and will never leave me and help me to have confidence in myself to complete this journey. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

The enemy truly dislikes it when any of the believers of Christ achieve any type of victory. He feels the need to challenge the body of Christ when he feels threatened by Godly advancement or success.

I woke this morning feeling as though the enemy had set his personal sights on me and simply unloaded his magazine of emotional bullets straight at me and filled me full of lead.

My CHE (chemicals, hormones and emotions) were so far out of whack I felt the need to log on to Google Maps and do some kind of search giving me directions from where I was emotionally a few days ago, to where I am today. I’m feeling desperately lost and adrift on a sea of low self-esteem floundering on waves of disillusionment. I’m definitely out of synch today and I don’t even have a good explanation for it.

I’ve had a couple of small victories this week as I was able to resume light exercise. I reached out and called a friend before I gave in to my food cravings. I’ve been filling my head with so much resource material this week that I’m certain all the wisdom I’ve gleaned is quite literally spilling out of my ears onto my shirt front. I’ve been spending more time in prayer and have been blessed to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit at work within me this week deeper than I’ve felt in some time.

I’m starting to feel like I’m close to uncovering some of my major emotional issues.

So how can I feel so victorious one day and so completely lost within in a mere 12-15 hour time span? The closer I seem to come to uncovering the root of my emotional eating issues the more roadblocks the enemy delights in springing on me. Clearly the enemy does not want any of us to be healthy and in our “right minds” because we become too productive and useful to the body of Christ.

The devil wants us paralyzed with fear, locked up in our own heads listening to the lies he feeds us about how fat, ugly, useless and stupid we are because we can’t be used by God when we feel this way. Not only are we incapable of helping ourselves but we can’t reach out and help others when we’re listening to the lies of the devil.

It’s been said by the “experts” on a frequent basis; “we must not live by our feelings or emotions.” If we feed those negative thoughts and emotions they will grow and morph into total absolute chaos in our minds.

I feel fat and ugly today, but I must not give in to those feelings and believe those lies of the enemy. It’s time for a wardrobe change because clearly I forgot to dress for success today and I neglected to put on the full armor of God. I need the helmet of salvation to guard my mind, my shoes of peace, my breastplate of righteousness, my sword of the spirit and most importantly my belt of truth.

Dressing for success means accessorizing and clearly I was underdressed today. Tomorrow’s a new day and I think it would behoove me to lay my clothes out tonight so I won’t risk being naked and exposed to the enemy tomorrow.

Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it. ~Vincent Van Gogh, 1889

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:10-12 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, help me not to live by my emotions but by wisdom that comes from the Word of God. Help me to resist the slings and arrows of the devil and outfit myself for the battles he rages. May I come through these trials stronger than ever. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

There’s no defining or explaining food cravings. Today I’m feeling this inane desire to sink my teeth in to something salty and/or crunchy. My body needs the salt, my teeth want the crunch. While I could have celery to satisfy the crunch or yogurt to fill my stomach, neither offers me the appeal I’m looking for. Doggone it; my taste buds have their sights set on Triscuits. What is that all about?

I called a friend of mine who is a psychology geek and aksed her if she had any explanation for why the body craves such weird things at different times of the month. She explained that it’s all about our CHE; or at least that’s what I call it. What it really means is it is all about the chemicals, hormones and emotions rushing through our bodies at any given time.

Her first question to me was what was I thinking about when my Triscuit craving hit? Where were my emotions? Before I succumbed to the craving and fell face first into a box of the criss-cross crackers, I stopped to examine my motives.

I was in the middle of house cleaning and feeling a bit stressed because I’m expecting a house full of people this evening. Add to that, my husband and I are leading our small group this evening, coupled with the fact that I barely got enough sleep last night to energize my busy schedule for today.

My inventory showed me I was anxious, stressed and tired; the trifecta of trouble when it comes to emotional eating. Before I gave in to my craving I stopped to refuel with diet soda and Excedrin, both considered to be perfectly legal stimulants. Okay, some may say that I’m still relying on a crutch to get me through my stress and anxiety, and perhaps that’s true. But the fact remains I’ve got a busy day and running on empty so I need the caffeine.

The bigger picture is simply, before I gave in to my craving I stopped and called a friend for help. I also looked for a lower calorie option and I didn’t let the craving beat me this time, rather I beat the craving. That’s pretty big to someone like me who is battling a food addiction.

If I were keeping score, today would score a victory in the win column. That’s good enough for me.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~Abraham Lincoln

1 Then Hannah prayed: “My heart rejoices in the LORD! The LORD has made me strong. Now I have an answer for my enemies; I rejoice because you rescued me.” 1 Samuel 2:1 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you for victories, no matter how small they may seem. I praise you for standing by me and giving me the strength I need on a day-by-day basis. I pray you will continue to partner with me in this challenge. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

To some it would seem that if you have a weight problem the simple answer for losing weight is “stop eating the wrong things.” If you have a spending problem the simple answer is “stop shopping and spending.” If you have a drinking problem the simple answer is “stop drinking.”

To most of us who’ve struggled with any type of addiction, be it food, drink, drugs, spending, etc., the simple answer clearly is not always the easiest answer to our problems. If like me you’re doing everything right with little to show for it, my advice is keep on doing the right thing. I exist on faith alone sometimes and faith tells me that suddenly good will overpower evil and I will get a suddenly breakthrough.

When I did a word search in the New Living Testament for the word suddenly there were 101 references combined in both the Old and New Testament. God made sure that we have enough suddenly stories throughout His Word to properly encourage us. After reading many of those references, I was greatly encouraged – so much so that I believe if I remain faithful to God, continue praying and including God in the healthy lifestyle path I’ve chosen, I believe I will definitely get my suddenly breakthrough.

Because we never know what we’re suffering through a trial is a direct result of what we’ve sown, or whether God is allowing a situation to test us, we must remain faithful. We never know if we’re simply under attack from the enemy, but we must believe God is always in control. Suddenly at any moment I might step on the scale and find that my metabolism is suddenly working in harmony with my food plan and my exercise plan and I could start dropping weight!

Hey, it could happen. Never doubt God as when we least expect it, He might suddenly perform a miracle in our lives and I for one, hope to be ready and anxious not whining and complaining!

When we can’t piece together the puzzle of our own lives, remember the best view of a puzzle is from above. Let Him help put you together. ~Terri Guillemets

38 Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?” 39 When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Silence! Be still!” Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm. 40 Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:38-40 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you for I know you hear my prayers. I pray you will never forsake me and I ask that you would stand by me in this journey. Increase my faith so that I might be a better witness for you. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I’ve been researching arthritis, the causes and the cures and one of the key suggestions in most of what I’ve read recommends losing excess weight for managing the pain of this disease. Well duh! That should be obvious to even the most uneducated. However what I didn’t realize was that even a little extra weight puts a tremendous amount of pressure on our joints.

Supposedly your weight bearing joints such as your knees and ankles carry loads up to 10 times a person’s weight. That’s quite literally a ton of pressure on my joints which explains why my hips, knees and ankles hurt all the time.

Of course, I’ve known that I’ve needed to lose weight because life in general is more difficult being overweight, but I’ve been in denial about the many levels of damage I’m doing to my body. I’ve been so focused on healing the emotional part of my food addiction; I’ve paid little attention to the physiological.

Some days I feel like there is nothing more I can be doing. I’m watching what I eat; I’m exercising as much as my arthritic body will allow; I’ve seen a medical doctor for all of my health issues and taking necessary medication where needed. I’m attending a weight loss support group and filling my brain with positive material. Plus I’m including God in every aspect and praying for strength and direction.

Seriously – what more can I be doing? Some days when it feels like we’re doing everything right but still not seeing the results we’d like, the only thing to do is stand on the promises of God. Have faith and trust God.

He who has faith has… an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly. ~B.C. Forbes

Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. Epheshians 6:11 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I ask for strength to continue on this path even though there is ample reason to want to give up. Increase my faith and help me to stand on the promises of your Word so I may complete this journey and achieve ultimate success. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I’m not sure what I was thinking when I decided to do the unthinkable today. Apparently self-humiliation and punishment were high on my list today since I decided to dig my one-piece swimsuit out of hiding to try it on. (The fact that it was buried in the bottom drawer under piles of sweat pants should have sufficiently deterred me. But it didn’t.)

At the end of last summer I bought a Speedo tank suit for lap swimming. Tank suits aren’t exactly the most flattering of styles in swimwear to begin with. Factor in tank suits are designed to fit extremely tight (to make a swimmer more streamlined while racing) and these tight-fitting suits smash most of your protruding body parts. The overall picture if you’re not built like a pre-pubescent girl is decidedly unflattering.

I knew when I bought the suit last summer that I wasn’t buying it in the hopes I would grace the cover of Sports Illustrated one day. I simply wanted a good suit that would allow me to glide through the water without the distraction of loose-fitting straps or the discomfort of giving me a major wedgie. A tank suit serves that purpose.

In my delusional state this morning my secret wish was that the combination of my loofah fat eraser, thousands of sit-ups, walking hundreds of miles, biking thousands more and eating somewhat healthy over the last few months would have magically changed my body. Hey a girl can wish can’t she?

While my tank suit still fits me after a seven-month hiatus, sadly all of my droopy body parts and protective layer of body fat are still glaringly obvious and haven’t miraculously shifted defying gravity and the laws of the universe. Darn! I may have shed 10 pounds since last summer, but clearly they weren’t the right 10 pounds when it comes to swimwear.

If you’re struggling with your eating or exercise program, I highly recommend donning a swimsuit to get an accurate gauge of how well you’ve been doing on your program. If you don’t like what you see reflected back at you, keep that mental picture of you in your swimsuit as a daily reminder that you need to be working that much harder if you hope to change that image.

Reality checks can be brutally painful. (I’m pretty sure I burned my retinas this morning with what I saw reflected in my mirror!) However, reality checks can sometimes be necessary to get us motivated to kick it in to high gear with our commitment to weight loss. Denial over reality may be gentler to your ego – but denial won’t give you buns of steel but rather buns of cellulite.

Man is the sole animal whose nudity offends his own companions, and the only one who, in his natural actions, withdraws and hides himself from his own kind. ~Montaigne

15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:15-16 (NIV)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, Help me to be realistic in my expectations and what my body can and cannot do. Help me to continue to eat healthy, exercise safely and with balance and to work a little harder each and every day to achieve my goals. Help me treat my body like your holy temple. I ask all these things in your holy name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I recently found myself waiting for an appointment, surrounded by old People magazines with nothing but interminable time to kill. I perused the pages and got lost in the gossip and lifestyles of Hollywood’s hottest celebrities and up and coming starlets.

Naturally the common denominator I noticed in all the women ages 16 – 60 was how unbelievably thin they all were. Some of them – painfully thin. Seriously, do any of those women ever eat?

I read an article outlining specific diets a few of the stars maintain when preparing for an upcoming role. One young woman ate only fresh spinach leaves for lunch every day. That was it – nothing else! Another star (this one a man) ate a half a grapefruit in the morning, and then nothing until 2:00 in the afternoon. The remainder of his day he consumed a mere 500 calories. Hel-lo! Anyone could lose weight eating that way. But is that the smartest way to lose weight? I think not!

These magazines also had their fair share of pictures of close-ups of celebs at their worst: sans make-up, coming out of the gym or frolicking on the beach in bikini-clad bodies highlighting the minimal pockets of saddle-bag cellulite.

There was one particularly sad picture of a 1970s star who now in her 60s has let herself go and ballooned up to 250 pounds. The reason I thought it was a sad picture was because this poor woman who had a very successful acting and directing career (which should have been the focus) was photographed sitting down, hunched over, so naturally she looked heavier. The unflattering picture made her look like an engorged tick with a tiny head and large body ready to burst at any second.

Apparently the Hollywood papparazzi don’t believe in growing old gracefully but would rather make celebrities fodder for the gossip rags when they let themselves go. Why would any sane person choose a lifestyle that applauds anorexia and shames you when you resume normal eating?

The media hounds these celebrities and prints air-brushed pictures of their “perfect” bodies putting pressure on “real women” to emulate these stars when that’s impossible. But yet, when they print photos of these celebrities au natural they ridicule them because they look like normal people. Talk about mixed messages.

The bottom line is none of us should compare ourselves to anyone else. Unfortunately many of the young women who read these magazines are dying to be thin because of the media pressure. We “mature women” should focus on setting an example for our daughters by being the best that we can be (at any age) and make the most of what God has given to us (at any weight). I don’t want to pay the price these celebrities must pay to look that thin. I don’t want to be Hollywood hungry so I can be unrealistically thin and I certainly don’t want that for my daughters.

I want to grow old naturally and not feel pressure to Botox my lips, lift my face, butt or boobs or suck the fat out of my hips, thighs or buttocks. I’d prefer not to run the risk of surgically changing my body so radically that God (or my family and friends) won’t even recognize me once I get to Heaven!

It is possible to eat healthy balanced meals without starving ourselves. It is possible to love ourselves and our bodies exactly as they are. AND it is possible to be beautiful at any age and any size!

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence. ~Frederick Douglass

28 And he said to man, ‘The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.’ Job 28:28 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I pray that you will help me to love and appreciate myself at all times, regardless of my age or weight. I pray that I can maintain a healthy balanced lifestyle and focus on being the best I can be one day at a time. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I have a few friends and family members who despise the upcoming summer months. I happen to be in the minority of people who actually look forward to the next few months. I don’t tolerate cold weather very well. I find the long hot days of summer much more preferable. I rarely complain about the heat.

Some of the reasons I like the summer months are because here in the southwest we can swim for five or six months of the year. Swimming is a great way to exercise and stay cool all at the same time. Swimming and/or water aerobics are a good way to tone your body without causing undue stress on your joints – especially your knees, hips and ankles. Due to my recent knee injury and arthritis diagnosis, I’m especially looking forward to getting back in the pool.

Because summer is so hot, the daily heat index is a constant reminder that it’s not the best time of year to carry excess body weight. I for one, tend to eat less simply because I’m exposing more skin so I find that I typically lose weight a little easier during the summer months. More exposed skin usually means more motivation to stay true to my eating program.

I don’t mind sweating if I’m actually working out. But there’s nothing worse than sweat pooling under your clothes when you’re on your way to an appointment or walking to and from the car. Summer helps me to work a little harder to keep my midriff roll to a minimum.

Sweat serves a purpose though as it’s a great way to keep me in line with my eating program and my exercise program. The more I eat, the more I weigh and the more I sweat. Compare that to less food, equals less body fat, equals less sweating. Hey, that’s math that even I can do.

Another big plus of summer weather is I drink gallons of water when it’s hot. I don’t go anywhere without my big giant mug brimming with ice cubes and icy cold water. Most of us know that experts recommend 6 to 8 eight ounce glasses of water each day to maintain optimal hydration and good health. The summer months require a bit more. Drinking plenty of clear liquids (not soda or juices) is a great way to flush our bodies of excess toxins. Water also fills our stomachs and keeps our skin looking healthy. Those are win-win reasons to drink lots of water.

Sure, the summer is long and unbelievably hot and yes we do have to walk faster on the asphalt for fear of our rubber flip flops disintegrating off our feet. And maybe we run the risk of suffering from the Wizard of Oz Wicked Witch syndrome in the fact that we all scurry through parking lots yelling, “I’m melting, I’m melting!” But hey – at least it’s a dry heat.

If you need a really good reason to appreciate summer, think on this: the heat is a reminder to pray for lost souls and be a better witness for Christ because Hell is most likely much hotter than Arizona in August and how sad for those that will be thrown into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Summer is the time when one sheds one’s tensions with one’s clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all’s right with the world. ~Ada Louise Huxtable

13 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. 14 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it. Matthew 7:13-14 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Thank you, Lord for warmer weather and options for getting healthy during the summer months. Help me not to complain about the heat. Help me to enjoy each and every day that you bless me with and maintain a cool composure and pray for those that are lost. Every season is a good season as long as I’m serving you, Lord. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 (NLT)

I was reading this passage this morning and was overcome with sadness as I realized I’ve fallen short of this command. My body has definitely not been a living sacrifice that is holy and pleasing to God. I realize that the Apostle Paul, the author of this book wasn’t talking about us having a body that’s a perfect physical specimen in the way it appears on the outside, but we’re to be wholly committed to serving God with our entire being: physically, mentally and spiritually.

We’re not to abuse our bodies with unclean sexual practices, nor are we to eat or ingest wrong things or unhealthy things (drugs,etc.), nor are we to fill our minds and thoughts with impure, evil or unholy thoughts or images. For the most part I’ve done pretty well in obeying this command, but I’ve fallen far short when it comes to my eating. I’ve put some pretty unholy things in my body in the past. Diet pills, greasy fried foods, alcohol and drugs.

For years I’ve put unhealthy, processed junk food in my body and now I’m paying the price and expecting God to miraculously deliver me from my own stupidity. It doesn’t make sense, I know. I am aware that I’ve failed in this though and I am truly repentant and believing for healing from my unhealthy eating practices. I want to offer my body as a living sacrifice and be holy and pleasing to God. But as most of us know, it takes more than “want to” to combat the demands of our flesh.

It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, that I’m also guilty of conforming to the pattern of this world as it states in verse 2 above. I compare myself to others that I think have better figures than I have. I constantly berate myself because I don’t look like someone else. I am guilty of being angry at the one who created me because He cursed me with this weird body type that I have.

Yes I am very guilty of conforming to the world. But, I have also recognized my flaws and I am diligently praying that my mind will be transformed and that I can break this debilitating habit. Regardless of how much “want to” or “willpower” we have, clearly the act of offering our bodies as a living sacrifice to God will require our total surrender to God and allowing Him to have “all of us.”

I’m not entirely sure what I’m holding on to that keeps me from achieving total victory in this area. But clearly, I’ve not surrendered ALL just yet. Now I just have to figure out what ALL means because clearly my ALL and what God considers MY ALL aren’t the same thing. Hmmm … I smell another blog post in there somewhere when I figure out what my ALL really is.

Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions. ~Author Unknown

Occasionally I wake up and have one of those days that I’m sick and tired about this whole food thing. I’m tired of thinking about what I should or should not be eating. I’m tired of menu planning, calorie counting, weighing and measuring and recording my food options. I’m just sick of the whole concept of eating in general. It seems like such a bother. These are the days nothing sounds appetizing and the sheer effort of feeding my body seems entirely too much trouble.

But I know I have to eat because we need to properly nourish our bodies.

Feeling as I do today, I decided to skip breakfast (which is a really bad idea in general) and opted to wait to eat until I was really hungry. You know, the grumbling stomach, light-headed and if I don’t put something in my stomach soon, I’m going to die feeling. I awoke around 6:30-ish and I didn’t even begin to feel hungry until five hours later.

I had some yogurt and even then felt that the effort wasn’t worth the end result as the yogurt was somewhat unsatisfying. When one has lived with a serious food addiction for as many years as I have, days like these are rare and I feel at a loss as to how to handle my food the rest of the day. Ideally I should take advantage of these days and really try not to feed my body just for the sack of nutrition, but somehow that just seems wrong.

However, there is nothing wrong with listening to our body when it decides it just doesn’t need as much food one day as compared to a “normal” day. Of course listening to our bodies is exactly what has led most of us to battle excess weight in the first place so we can’t always bow down to the whims and demands of our body’s food cravings.

As with everything we need wisdom and balance when listening to our bodies. Take advantage of those days when you don’t feel like eating as much and be very minimal with your calories. On other days when you feel like you could eat your way through everything in the pantry from A to Z, spend your calories wisely by filling up on higher fiber foods like oatmeal, fruits and veggies. If that doesn’t work, drink lots of water and try to busy yourself with something that takes you out of the kitchen or try to work in an extra exercise workout.

The whole point of changing our lifestyles is to stop taking orders from our fickle flesh and learn to eat and exercise with balance and wisdom rather than simply feeding our emotions and our cravings. Listen to your body but don’t let it boss you around. Make sure you listen to your brain and not just your body.

Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. We give it orders which make no sense. ~Henry Miller

12 Wisdom belongs to the aged, and understanding to the old. 13 “But true wisdom and power are found in God; counsel and understanding are his. Job 12:12-13 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord I ask that you would help me to listen to my body without bowing down to unrealistic or unhealthy demands. I praise you for wisdom and common sense. May I continually employ both while I’m actively working on changing my life to live as healthy a lifestyle as possible. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

For the first time in two weeks I was able to get some real exercise besides just weight lifting. My knee injury seems to be recovering nicely and I was able to go for a long bike ride today. At first it seemed like a great idea and I felt no residual pain whatsoever. That was the first half of my ride.

My return trip should have been the same but once I turned around and headed home I was pedaling full force into the wind. This was kind of a good news/bad news situation in the fact that I was so excited to be getting some real exercise I didn’t stop to check the weather prior to leaving the house.

When I left the sun was shining, the birds were singing, the temperature was perfect and the breeze was blowing - slightly. However when I turned around to head back the way I came, the slight breeze turned into gale force winds which required super human strength to pedal through. That was the bad news.

The good news is that I really got a great cardio workout in today as my bike is a Schwinn cruiser bike, which translates to one speed, not three, not five, not ten. Just one. The speed of me. Once I finally made it home (my face and shirt sufficiently covered with the tiny carcasses of flying insects) I felt like I needed a nap as that’s the most exercise I’ve gotten in nearly two weeks.

In light of my recent recuperative time spent flat on my back I’m grateful for movement. I vow from this day forward NEVER to take for granted the sheer joy of simple movement and the delight of exercising. I’ve always been an exercise junkie and not being able to workout has been detrimental not only to my physical body but to my mental health as well.

As I’ve mentioned before, 70% of our weight loss comes solely from what we eat. It’s important not to rely completely on our daily menu but to take advantage of that 30% benefit we get from exercise. Life’s too short to waste away in front of the TV.

Get up and move today if you’re able. If you’re housebound, bed-ridden or confined to a wheel-chair, move the parts of the body that you can move. Every little bit helps. Do what you can and let God take care of what you can’t.

Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness. ~Edward Stanley

50 What I am saying, dear brothers and sisters, is that our physical bodies cannot inherit the Kingdom of God. These dying bodies cannot inherit what will last forever. 51 But let me reveal to you a wonderful secret. We will not all die, but we will all be transformed! 1 Corinthians 15:50-51 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I rejoice in your goodness and thank you for physical exercise. I pray you will continue to heal my body. Please let the combination of physical exercise, healthy eating and time spent with you transform my mind and body to be the best they can be this side of heaven. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I for one am thankful that each week has a Monday. There’s something about getting up and starting fresh at the beginning of a new week. Because I didn’t eat as well over the weekend as I would have liked and there was a certain amount of food indiscretions on my part, I need a fresh start.

For me starting fresh means getting out my food journal, writing things down – and that means everything that I eat today. It also means getting out my food scale, measuring spoons and measuring cups and doing the dirty work of weighing all my food and not merely guessing about my food portions.

Starting over isn’t meant to be a punishment so much as a clean slate. While it may feel like punishment to a certain degree when we begin anew, it really is meant to recharge our enthusiasm and reignite our passion for success.

I’ve definitely felt a waning of my passion for this whole weight loss thing lately. When you have little to show for your efforts and exercising has been nearly impossible for a couple of weeks, it’s hard to maintain a positive attitude. It’s feeling like the honeymoon is over phase and now it’s just about the hard work.

In the same way I was hoping I could scrub the excess fat away with a loofah, I find myself wishing I could get on my bike and ride away from this excess weight. Weight loss lifestyle changes do get boring from time to time and in order to keep from succumbing to the boredom occasionally we all need a fresh start.

A fresh start equals baby steps. You have to learn to walk before you can run so for now I’ll simply try to baby step, step, step away this weight and eventually I’ll be able to run again.

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~Author Unknown

4 May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed. 5 May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God. May the LORD answer all your prayers. Psalm 20:4-5 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you for fresh starts. Help me to make the most of this new day by renewing my mind and my strength. Give me a desire to succeed and I pray that you’ll help me not get bogged down in boredom or defeat. Help me to commit my plans to you so I may succeed. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I hope the title didn’t mislead you and you’re only reading this because you think I’m going to enlighten you with a new miracle product that magically erases body fat. Hah! If I had one of those … just think!

No sorry, this blog post will be all over the place today. I’m having one of those days. Hormonal, sad and fat so I kind of “shoot from the hip on these days.”

A friend of mine commented on a recent blog post of mine regarding my “tube tan.” My friend reminded me of the importance of preparing our body before we “tan” with a generous buffing of our skin prior to applying tanning lotion. That is excellent advice that I neglected to mention in my post. You might want to do that if you’re going to be “tanning” anytime soon.

I don’t always remember to pre-treat my skin, but when the tanning season is new like this I tend to be a bit more diligent about the care I put into my fake tan. By the end of summer, I pretty much just slather the stuff on only my ankles (shaved or unshaved) since that’s about the only body part I freely expose that won’t tan on its own.

I did confess to my friend that I usually “loofah” my skin before I “tan.” There’s something therapeutic about a good scrubbing of my outer layer. Some days, depending on my mood, the intensity with which I scrub varies.

I’m still raw and reeling from having spent a weepy afternoon with another friend and her personal crisis, that today I felt the need to “scrub the pain away” from my own emotions. In my mind I thought that if perhaps I could rub off the outer layer of my skin that somehow I might lessen the pain I was feeling in my heart. You don’t have to be a genius to figure out that it didn’t work. The pain is still there today and then some. Must be those hormones.

Oh how I wish there were some way to simply rub out or rub off the pain of heartache but most of us know we simply have to “go through” until the pain subsides. For someone like me who has been overweight and dealing with negative body images most of my life I’ve often wished I could scrub away the excess fat. And believe you me, I’ve tried on more than one occasion to do just that with my trusty loofah.

Some days, I’ve scrubbed every inch of my body with the coarse porous sponge praying the whole time that my harsh ministrations of the loofah would produce instant results. I’ve foolishly spent my hard-earned money on cellulite creams and lotions. I’ve taken pills and tried all the exercises to “erase my unwanted body fat,” but it’s still there. I KNOW this excess weight cannot be scrubbed away and I must do the work through diet and exercise not with pills, creams or loofah sponges.

Okay so I KNOW this, but yet when I purchased a new loofah last week I found myself wishing the manufacturers of loofah’s had finally invented a new magic fat erasing sponge. (Hey a girl can wish can’t she?) After all it is possible to look like I have a fabulous golden tan after only one application of tube tan, so why not erase my fat after one loofah treatment? (Or two or three?)

Hey, cut me some slack – it’s Mother’s Day and if I could have one wish for this day, I’m ashamed to admit I’d probably waste it on the vain pursuit of instant weight loss. No, that’s not true. I’d wish to have my mother back. My heart hasn’t been the same since she passed. My heart still aches for her after all these years. There’s not a loofah big enough to scrub away the pain of losing your mother. Sadly, it’s not the kind of pain one can scrub away. That’s a blog for another day.

Hey sorry, I warned you this blog was all over the place today. It’s definitely those hormones! Happy Mother’s Day!

Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1 (NIV)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Thank you for my children, my husband, my family and for the warm memories I have of my mother. Thank you for life’s many blessings. May I come to accept myself as I am but may I always be striving to improve those things I’m unhappy with regarding myself. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I spent yesterday afternoon with a friend who was going through a crisis. We sat together crying over her grief (yes, I cried right along with her) for a good solid hour. She was so grief-stricken, she couldn’t even think of eating for the rest of the day. I, on the other hand, because I’d so completely embraced her problem, wanted to do nothing but EAT.

After we parted company, my way of coping with someone else’s problem was to be outraged on their behalf and I completely fell off the wagon for a major binge. I did the cheese and cracker thing, the chips and salsa thing, balanced out the junk with a giant fruit salad and ended with some sort of cheeseburger meal.

It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t planned and worst of all, it wasn’t even my problem, but yet I chose to pick up the offense and make it my own. Part of me says “It’s okay. You’re a compassionate soul.” And of course there’s that part of me that says, “Oh horse feathers! You’re just a pig looking for a reason to fall off the wagon!”

Whichever the case, today I needed to take a step back and examine my motives in the hopes that if this situation occurs again, I can offer help without bowing down to my own food addictions and making things worse.

I truly did feel so bad for my friend and what she was suffering, it seemed like the natural thing to do was to bury the problem under a ton of food. Logically I know that stuffing the problem with food did no good. But eating through a crisis is entirely normal for me. That’s what I do. That’s what I’ve always done.

Part of me was outraged that my friend couldn’t possibly think about eating. How is that normal? Not eating during a crisis is an entirely foreign concept to me. I’m sure that would explain why my friend weighs about 118 pounds and why I don’t weigh 118 pounds. She starves her problems. I feed my problems. Somewhere in between those two scenarios there must be a practical solution.

What I learned from this is, life happens and it can be filled with crises so it’s important to learn to deal with crisis by not eating myself stupid. If I resort to stuffing my face in the wake of each and every trial I will never successfully lose weight. Duh! That’s a no-brainer, but yet clearly I forgot to engage my brain during yesterday’s trial. Not so with my stomach and emotions. Both were fully engaged and fully committed to dealing with my friend’s crisis.

Note to self: in the event of future crises stock up on rice cakes, apples and sugar-free snacks. Life happens and it will be filled with trials and tribulations. If I don’t stock up on low-cal snacks, I’m heading down a road that will be my ruin. Get a clue!

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go. ~Author Unknown

12 There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death. 13 Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains. Proverbs 14:12-13 (NIV)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I ask that you would bless my friend and help her heart to heal from the heavy grief she’s suffering. I pray you will help me to repent of my sin of gluttony. I ask that in the future you would help me not turn to food to deal with disappointment or grief. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

With summer just around the corner and the need to bare more flesh and dress for the hot temperatures, now is when we find out just how successful we’ve been at managing our weight loss journey. For me, my days of donning shorts in public are a thing of the past and regardless of how far above 100° the temperatures climb, I don’t wear shorts in public. Period. Never. No not EVER. Not even if I were at my ideal body weight.

I do wear Capri pants and sleeveless blouses though so I’m still planning on baring a fair amount of flesh this summer. This is the time of year when I stock up on “tube tan” aka “fake-and-bake” and “tan-in-a-can.” My philosophy is: “fat looks better tan.”

I saw a friend of mine recently whom I’d not seen in several weeks. The first thing I noticed about her was her golden brown tan. When I asked how she’d gotten such a lovely color in such a short amount of time she laughed and told me it was “tube tan.” I was a little jealous of her because I can never get my fake tan to look even and natural and I remarked as such to her. I had to laugh when my philosophy came out of her mouth, “Fat looks better tan.” (Alas, we poor women are so persecuted by the lies of the enemy.)

While I avoid using the “F” word (as in “fat”) there is a good bit of accuracy in that philosophy about looking better with a tan. At my age sunbathing is not high on my list of “things I love to do,” not to mention it really does cause wrinkles so I apply the fake tan stuff liberally. Even though I know my skin is not really that tan, when I look down and see the golden glow radiating off my cellulite, it really does look better than the pasty white skin. Surprisingly the golden tan really makes me feel thinner.

During the dog days of summer we either have to learn to love our bodies as they are, or pay the price by covering up in layers of fabric. I have a few friends who opt for optimal cover-up, but for me, comfort wins out over vanity. Clearly my age is such that I no longer worry about what other people think. Wow, so this is what maturity feels like.

Whether we’ve lost all of our winter weight or not, summer is coming and the time to reveal how well we’ve done with our weight loss is now. As for me – from mid-calf to my ankles and my bare arms – look fab-u-lous! I’ve got the whole summer to swim away, walk away and bike away the remainder of my winter weight. And the good news is, if I don’t lose the weight as quickly as I’d like, I’m well stocked with tube tan!

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us. ~Peter De Vries

3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this. Psalm 37:3-5 (NIV)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I pray that you would give me the desires of heart to lose this excess weight. Help me to work harder and press forward with strength and determination. Thank you for the changes in the seasons and the changes I’m seeing in myself. May I continue to press in and become more like you each and every day. I ask all these things in your name Lord Jesus. Amen.

I love this time of year as the temperatures heat up. Not because of the hot weather but because eating and shopping takes on a whole new meaning for me. I love the variety of fruits and veggies that are available this time of year. Eating is so much more interesting during the summer months because of the varieties of fresh foods available. What a great way to eat a rainbow of colors every day.

Today I was faced with a choice of snorfing down leftover brownies or pigging out on a jumbo fruit salad. Because I have PMS, the brownie was hard to resist, and I’m not going to lie to you. I did have a small brownie. I washed down the brownie and the accompanying guilt with a giant glass of water just so I could fill up my stomach. The guilt wasn’t so easy to wash away, but when faced with PMS, guilt and chocolate kind of go together so I’ll deal with it.

If it weren’t for the PMS I probably would have chosen the fruit salad as fruit is infinitely more filling. Fruit salads can be so aesthetically appealing to the eyes as well as delicious to the taste buds. There are berries of all kinds, red and green grapes, pineapple, melons and kiwi, oh my gosh, so many fabulous flavors and so many beautiful colors. Seriously, how can anyone deny the existence of God when there are so many amazing tasting, beautiful fresh fruits to choose from?

Watching your weight doesn’t always have to consist of the same old thing. Take advantage of the summer produce and start eating a rainbow of colors while the rainbows are available. Before the rainbows are gone for the summer, stock up while the prices are low and freeze them and save them to use in fruit smoothies.

Summer is a great time to get healthy, eat healthy and make your menu colorful. Before you reach for the packaged snack goods think about this. The caloric value of a two-inch brownie is about the same as eating 4 cups of strawberries or a whole cantaloupe. You don’t have to be a genius to figure out that a whole melon or a bushel of strawberries will fill you up and satisfy your hunger a lot faster than a two-inch brownie.

Before you fill your stomach with empty calories like chips, crackers or candy, fill your plate with a rainbow of colors and watch the weight come off.

Did you ever stop to taste a carrot? Not just eat it, but taste it? You can’t taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie. ~Astrid Alauda

28 And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? 29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Luke 12:28-30 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, thank you for the amazing varieties of fresh fruits and vegetables that are grown at your command. May I eat and be satisfied as I feed my body with such colorful varieties. Lord please continue to provide for my needs daily and nourish my body as well as my spirit. In your name, I ask all these things, Lord. Amen.

Once we’ve established that “normal” for us now means we don’t get to snorf down cookies, candy, cakes and pies on a regular daily basis, we’re well on our way to a healthier, happier us. Normal does not mean we NEVER get to partake of sweet treats again. It does however, mean that we need to limit our sugar consumption and learn to truly enjoy and savor those occasional treats.

There will be times though that we may need to use common sense and sound judgment when faced with a tempting situation. For instance, today someone brought me brownies to taste and enjoy. This is someone who never bakes but needed to take something to a potluck event. She went to a lot of trouble because baking is as foreign to her as say … changing the oil in my car is to me.

The fact that this person thought enough of me to share in her milestone baking extravaganza was huge. How does one refuse such a generous effort when someone has clearly put a lot of heart, love and thought into bringing something to you that means a lot to them?

I had to stop and ask myself: What would Jesus do? I know it sounds cliché but it applies in this situation. I didn’t want to refuse this kind offer and hurt this person’s feelings, but yet brownies aren’t exactly a regular staple in my daily menu plan. What to do?

Reading through the New Testament, we can see that Jesus was kind to strangers and rarely rebuffed people. What would have happened when the offer of the little boy’s lunch of fish and bread was made if Jesus would have said, “No, thanks. I’m on a vegetarian diet. Can’t eat the fish and I’m allergic to wheat.” The story of Jesus feeding the multitudes on this one little boy’s generosity would never have been recorded. Not to mention this young child would have been devastated to have the Savior reject his kind offer.

We need to employ common sense and good manners. There are ways to appease someone without being rude and hurting their feelings. You could take the offered homemade treat, thank them profusely and take a small taste. You can tell them how good it is and then let them know you’re taking it home to enjoy later. Once at home you can either share it with someone in your house or section it off to enjoy over a period of time. Be creative without becoming a pig.

Don’t be in a hurry to say “No” immediately and risk hurting someone’s feelings. But at the same time, you don’t have to say “Yes” to everything and then follow it up by EATING EVERYTHING. In all things there must be balance, wisdom and good old fashioned common sense.

With careful forethought and planning we can enjoy treats as long as we’re willing to cut back somewhere else or even walk a few extra laps around the track as a trade off. The biggest reason most diets fail is because people quickly become bored eating the same things day after day. Denying yourself for extended periods of time can lead to a meltdown that sends you to the snack aisle for a bingeing blow out.

Saying yes to an occasional treat will help you stay on track and satisfy your flesh so you can go the distance. Limiting desserts and snacks will help you to acquire a greater appreciation for your occasional treats allowing you to savor them when you do indulge.

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. ~Judith Viorst

12 And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, 13 while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed. 14 He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds. Titus 2:12-14 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you for the generosity of friends. May I always have a gracious heart and never let any unwholesome talk come from my mouth so as to hurt others. Thank you for restraint and common sense. May I employ both on a regular daily basis. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

Through the miraculous power of prayer, a good deal of rest and Ibuprofen as needed, my injury is healing quite nicely. I’ve actually been able to ditch the cumbersome knee brace and the crutches and have adopted a new rather quirky gait to my walk – but that’s okay. I’m walking under my own steam now which is preferable by far. Okay, so there’s a little hitch in my giddiup but it gives me character.

I must confess it’s great to be able to return to near normal. Thinking about what is supposed to be “normal” though got me wondering. I’ve been at this weight loss thing since January 1st of this year. I’m making some healthier food choices and mixed up my exercise to keep things interesting. I’ve been working at peeling back the layers of dysfunction to get at the root of my core eating issues and I’ve attacked them head on. I’m including God in all aspects of my weight loss. I’m reading daily diet devotions and I’ve adjusted my thinking and I’ve lost around 10 pounds. Not astronomical and nowhere near my goal weight, but it’s progress.

Typically the majority of dieters who reach their weight loss goals have a tendency to slowly start slipping back into old bad habits. Before long and with little or no effort, all the weight that was so hard to lose starts coming right back, usually bringing some friends along with it. Statistically 95% of successful dieters go back to their “old normal” way of life within one year of reaching their goal weight.

In order to keep that from happening, once we start successfully losing weight, we need to adjust not only our attitudes and the way we eat, but our perception of “normal.” This healthier lifestyle needs to become our “new normal” and that old unhealthy life needs to become a bad dream from our past.

Normal must mean we embrace a healthier lifestyle and opt for balanced meals, smaller portions and saying “no” more than we say “yes.” Normal should be making it a habit to “Play 60” three or four times a week and getting our heart rate up and sweating. Normal must be treating ourselves to dessert occasionally, not every three to four hours. Normal should be reaching out and calling a friend when we’re tempted to eat unhealthy foods or zip in a fast-food drive-through line when we’re craving French fries.

If we don’t adjust our perception of “normal” the chances of us ending up in the 95 percentile failure group is a very real possibility. I for one, intend to be one of the 5% success stories. I hope I have some friends willing to go the distance with me.

Some people dream of success… while others wake up and work hard at it. ~Author Unknown

21 Foolishness brings joy to those with no sense; a sensible person stays on the right path. 22 Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success. Proverbs 15:21-22 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you for all of the blessings you’ve bestowed upon me. I thank you for the successes I’m enjoying. I pray that I won’t become complacent and lose interest in my task. Help me to adapt my thinking to a healthier way of life and let that be my normal way of thinking from now on. I ask all these things in your name, Lord. Amen.

Because I’ve learned to expect the unexpected in life, I wasn’t at all surprised when my smoke alarm went off at 4:30 this morning. No worries, there was no fire, but the system which operates on electricity also has a precautionary 9-volt battery backup. When the batteries need changing, the alarm with the failed battery goes off and triggers the remaining alarms throughout the house – upstairs and downstairs. We have nine alarms all total.

I’d been sleeping fitfully and wasn’t really asleep at all when I heard the first chirping of the alarm before it bellowed forth at full volume. If you’ve never been awakened in the middle of the night by an alarm, it’s an ear-piercing screech which is oftentimes indistinguishable over the pounding of your own terrified heart beat.

To add insult to injury, my dog feels the need to howl at the top of his tiny lungs along with the alarms because that’s what he does, so chaos is the main theme followed by everyone congregating in the hallway screaming at one another to “hurry, turn it off and shut the dog up!”

The only reason I bother to mention this is because I have a way of seeing the little God clues in everything – including nighttime alarms and howling dogs. My first reaction was to leap from bed (because initially instinct kicks in and one never knows for certain if there is a fire or gas leak somewhere in the house). The second I put my foot on the floor, I was reminded of my injury. Ouch! I hobbled to the stairs with my daughter and husband and all I could think of is, “What if this is a real emergency? How fast can I make it down the stairs on my bum leg?”

Of course, those thoughts were followed by “See … this is EXACTLY why you need to get this weight off, girl!” How is it even dead batteries in smoke alarms remind me that I’m overweight? Perhaps because whether I acknowledge the weight or choose to be in denial and pretend it’s not there – it IS there. Following me around and clinging to me everywhere I go making life significantly more difficult than it needs to be.

Each new day there seems to be another reminder that I’ve not been taking this weight loss thing seriously. A middle of the night emergency exodus is no laughing matter. What if I had to help my husband or one of my children from the house in the middle of the night? I’d be useless in my present condition.

No, excess weight is no laughing matter and once again I’m reminded of my commitment to turn my life around and start shedding this outer layer of protective body fat. And once again, I’m reminded of God’s goodness and grace. He cares enough for me to send me these gentle, sometimes “alarming” nudges to get my attention.

The patient should be made to understand that he or she must take charge of his own life. Don’t take your body to the doctor as if he were a repair shop. ~Quentin Regestein

11 In the end you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body. 12 You will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings! 13 Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors? Proverbs 5:11-13 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you for each new day and I thank you that you care enough for me that you gently remind me I need to take better care of myself. I pray I will fully heed your warnings and I ask your help in making my body respond to healthier food and exercise. I thank you for opening my eyes, Lord. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

The human body is a magnificent creation. I marvel each day at the things the human body can do and yet so many are blind to the creator of such an amazing piece of fleshy machinery. The way the mind and body works – how could anyone ever deny the existence of God?

As my leg heals this week, it’s done so mostly on its own with little or no help from me. My only contribution has been to keep my limb immobile, partake of occasional doses of an anti-inflammatory medication and sleep. (I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve gotten pretty good at too.)

God created our bodies to heal from simple injuries and infections largely on their own. God has entrusted us with these amazing houses of flesh, bones, muscles and organs that are truly remarkable. Clearly I’ve had a lot of time to think about things this week, like the human body! The rest and down time were necessary and has aided in the healing process. That’s the way God designed us. What a wonder!

Because I’ve had so much time to sit and think, I’ve had opportunity to reflect on how I’ve treated my body over the years. The forerunner of emotions is shame as I admit I’ve not taken the best care of my fleshy machine. Years (more like decades), of yo-yo dieting and gaining and losing the same 30 or 40 pounds has practically incapacitated my fat-burning system. At my age it’s more important than ever to take care of my body yet I’ve got all these past sins to atone for.

For the most part I’ve balanced out the yo-yo dieting with my exercise obsession so even though I’m considerably over my goal weight, my cholesterol is still good, although my blood pressure is higher than it should be. I can’t help but think that this injury really is largely my fault because I’ve got this extra weight putting pressure on my hips and knees so an injury such as this was probably inevitable.

There is a certain amount of fear circling around in my head that if I don’t get this weight off, what’s to keep this from happening again. I didn’t sustain this knee injury roller blading our hang-gliding or performing any unusual stunts. I was simply walking. I plan to do a lot of walking over the remaining years of my life so how can I guarantee I won’t walk right into another serious injury?

The first thing I’ve had to do is pray and ask God to protect my mind from fear. I refuse to live in fear and worry my life away that this will happen again. I will not let the enemy keep me from living a normal life. So I’m rebuking any and all thoughts that try to penetrate my mind and drag me into a worried state of panic. No good will come of that. Get thee behind me Satan!

Next, I’ve had to repent of my past sins and stop dredging up my past mistakes that have led to my current physical state. The past is passed and yes I made some unhealthy choices and stupid decisions that are now responsible for my present weight, but there is no point in continuing to beat myself up about them. I’ve asked God to forgive me and his word assures me that if I ask – He hears. It’s time to let go of my former shame and mistakes and move forward.

Finally I’ve made a covenant with God to take better care of my “temple” and honor him by denying my flesh. I will from this point on take positive steps each day to get healthy. Over the years my body has “miraculously” healed itself from minor injuries or illnesses. There are no guarantees that it would do so if I were to suffer from a stroke or heart attack, so why chance it?

What good is having someone who can walk on water if you don’t follow in his footsteps? ~Author Unknown

9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:9 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you for the creation of the human body and all that it can do at your design. I praise you for healing and I thank you for forgiving me of my sins. Strengthen me and give me balance and commitment in all things, Lord. I ask all these things in your holy name. Amen.

I suppose if I were to look on the bright side of my recent injury (and really I have no other choice but to do that), I’ve noticed a definite trend. First there’s been a generous outpouring of support from my friends and offers for food and housecleaning. I’ve got wonderful friends for which I’m profoundly grateful. Perhaps I’ve taken my friends for granted and this injury is God’s way of reminding how blessed I am. Lesson number one: thanking God for my many blessings – especially for all my many friends - check.

Secondly, I truly believe I’m burning more calories without an actual workout program simply by hobbling on crutches, hoisting myself up and down the stairs and in and out of the tub and other various hygienic problems and just surviving. Lesson number two: not obsessing about exercise and rather concentrating on simple survival has caused my metabolism to work a little harder than normal – check.

Thirdly, many of my friends struggling with weight issues (even minor ones) and/or food addictions are realizing through my struggles that any extra body weight results in a slower and more difficult recovery from injury. Lesson number three: excess weight leads to physical hardships and problems and impedes healing – check.

Lastly (at least for now) God has been reminding me daily that I’ve had my focus on food, exercise, losing weight and all manner of “idols” in my life far too long. It took an injury to slow me down and redirect my focus to the only thing that matters in life: loving God with my whole heart, mind, soul, body and strength. Lesson four: mistreating my “temple” has taken my eyes off God and because of it, God needed to bring me back to a place of total repentance and dependence on HIM – check, check and check.

Messages received. Thank you Lord!

We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them. ~Charles C. West

15 But by means of their suffering, he rescues those who suffer. For he gets their attention through adversity. Job 36:15 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I continue to be amazed at all you wish to teach me. I know I’ve so much to learn and so far to go. I pray you will continue to be patient with me as I grow in your wisdom each day. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.