Diet & Wisdom Appetizers

If ever there was ever a legitimate reason for wanting to hide away and isolate myself from the world – today would be that day. I got a haircut a couple of days ago that’s less than what I was hoping for. It’s so “less” – meaning short that it borders on what I classify as “Lesbian short.” Hence the need to isolate myself from the rest of the world for the next few weeks until is grows out.

It’s really quite comical though as for decades it was my hairstyle that I chose to cower behind. In the 80s I sported really big hair (TV evangelist wife big) coupled with glasses as large as satellite dishes. Thinking to camouflage my body flaws, I chose extreme hair and glasses to hide behind. My central goal was to be invisible. Looking back on those pictures, I can only shake my head in disgust as the bigness of my hair and my glasses only drew attention to my low self-esteem and insecurities.

In the 90s I let my locks grow really long and cowered under a mantle of either long permed curls or long straight to my waist hair. In my warped logic I assumed if I hid behind my Rapunzel hair, no one would notice me. The common denominator of the 80s and 90s was clearly my rock-bottom low self-esteem.

After the turn of the century (good Lord, am I old or what?) I opted for brand new super short hair for a brand new century thinking a new attitude and a new me would follow. I wrestled with the notion for years that if I were to wear short hair, I’d bear a striking resemblance to a bowling pin because of my misshapen body.

For the last decade I’ve not had long hair to hide me and I do look amazingly like a bowling pin – but I’ve usually had a really great hair style. (This week is the exception.) When I had long thick hair, I never got compliments on how great my hair was. Since I’ve cut it really short, spiky and sassy, I’m always getting complements on my hairstyle. Having short hair has challenged me and my self-esteem mainly because what I feared most has come to pass – I’m no longer invisible. I have great hair and people notice that.

When we struggle with food addictions and weight problems, we seek ways in which to hide ourselves. I hid under layers of heavy, thick hair, but I’ve often been guilty of hiding under layers of clothes as well. We hide behind our kids or our spouses. We hide behind witty repartee and stand-up humor. People hide in their jobs or hobbies and crafts – anything that won’t draw attention to us and our perceived flaws.

Overcoming low self-esteem is a process that cannot be achieved instantly or overnight. Chances are the low self-esteem we live with is a direct result of the hidden scars we carry inside that were carved from traumatic childhoods.

We can hide from the world behind hair, clothes or addictions, but we cannot hide from God. He already knows everything about us, including the ugliness we work so hard to keep buried. The good news is, He loves us any way. Regardless of how ugly our past may be, God doesn’t look at the ugliness of abuse, addiction or sin; God sees our hearts.

If we have confessed our sins to Him, he is faithful and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness and has forgiven us. (1 John 1:9) In order for us to be truly free – free enough to stop hiding, we need to accept that forgiveness from God AND most importantly, we need to forgive ourselves and those that have hurt us.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~Paul Boese

21 Then Jesus asked them, “Would anyone light a lamp and then put it under a basket or under a bed? Of course not! A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light will shine. 22 For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light. 23 Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.” Mark 4:21-23 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I know I cannot hide anything from you. Help me overcome any low self-esteem issues I wrestle with and help me to conquer that need I feel to hide myself from the rest of the word. Help me to operate in the gifts of the spirit. Fill me with the confidence that I am loved by the Savior so that I may reach out in love to others who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.