Diet & Wisdom Appetizers

Not long ago I was shopping at Wal-Mart with my husband. While he waited in a long check-out line he sent me off to McDonald’s for a cheeseburger for him for the ride home. After I placed my burger order, cold beads of sweat gathered on my top lip as I thought I spotted someone who I used to work with in a weight loss class with me. Oops! What to do?

I’d already ordered my hubby’s burger and was waiting off to the side. I did my best to stare off into space. I tried to hide behind the giant cut-out of whatever Happy Meal toy was currently available. I did a little people watching – basically looking everywhere except towards this woman. I really was hoping she wouldn’t notice me.

Somehow the fact that we knew each other from a weight loss class and we were both ordering food at McDonald’s filled me with instant guilt. On top of that, I know I’m not in that weight loss class anymore because I’m way over my goal weight. One quick dart in her direction and I sized her up as being way beyond her goal weight as well. Rather than being comforted by this fact, I continued to lurk in the shadows.

After this woman placed her order, she grabbed her drink glasses and disappeared around a corner to the soda fountain. Relief flooded through me as my number was called. I grabbed my burger bag and made a beeline for my waiting husband. Score! The woman never spotted me!

Or had she? Perhaps like me she was too embarrassed to say hello?

Somehow my radical attempts to remain invisible got me thinking on the drive home. Obviously I’ve not come as far in repairing my damaged self-esteem as I’d hoped. Here I was hiding from a former coworker acting like I was carrying a giant tray filled with Big Mac’s, super-sized fries and milk shakes with the intent to steal away like a common criminal and devour them in my car. I had one little burger in my bag and it wasn’t even for me, yet I was acting guilty, guilty, guilty.

Okay, some serious self-evaluation is in order. Clearly I’m over my goal weight from several years ago, but I am currently working on rectifying that weight gain. Obviously I need to heed my own advice which I hammer home on a regular basis … It’s not about the number!

For the first time in a long time, I’ve come to grips with myself at this weight. I do my best to dress for my body type. I always take extra care with my hair and make-up. I’m a good person; a good wife and mom; a successful writer. I have nothing to be ashamed of. If I can be brought low by a single little hamburger, I still need to be working the program and the steps.

Perhaps if this situation occurs again, I can be more gracious and confident and take the first step to say “hello.” I can offer encouragement and focus on one great thing I notice about her and offer her a compliment rather than cowering in shame and acting guilty.

I’d like to kick myself for reverting back to my old ways. The fact that I was able to face up to my insecurity so quickly makes me realize there is still work to be done and I am forever a Work In Progress.

Practice makes perfect and I’ll get this … eventually.

Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul. ~Author Unknown

“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”6 So we can say with confidence, “The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I pray that you would continue to do a work in me and mold me and make me into your image. Help me not to hide and cower behind my insecurities. Fill me with your Holy Spirit and help me to see beyond my fears so that I might be able to reach out and offer a kind word to others. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.