Diet & Wisdom Appetizers

They say confession is good for the soul. I’m not sure who they are but, it turns out they know what they’re talking about. Last night I attended my support group and was invited to share a brief part of my testimony – the part that directly related to my relationship with food and the addictive strangle hold it has on my emotions.

Initially I was terrified to open up and spill my hidden secrets. Once I started though, it was like releasing the valve on a pressure cooker and the ugliness I’d buried in the basement of my dark past spewed forth. Sharing with the group was very cathartic for me, but only part of my healing this week.

The group I attend is a biblically based 12-step program for addiction. We’re encouraged as individuals to make an inventory of past issues as they relate to our addiction and the people we may have injured along the way. This includes things we have done as well as what was done to us. Once we’ve made the inventory, sharing it with one trusted person is considered crucial in order to achieve success in the program.

I was in denial for so long that I had a serious food/exercise addiction making it easier to explain away my obsessive behavior due to stress or anxiety. I only eat when I’m depressed, sad, angry, happy, hurt, scared etc.

Turns out I was not only eating all the time, but on many occasions doing most of this eating in secret hiding the evidence of my binges. Then of course, those secret eating binges were followed up with hours of strenuous exercise to burn off all those extra calories. I don’t know the exact definition of addiction, but that smells strangely like compulsive behavior to me.

Since I made my inventory and shared it with a trusted friend this week, I feel as though a huge burden has been lifted from me. I literally feel 10 pounds lighter today. It goes without saying that once I’d unburdened my soul the enemy did his best to make me feel foolish for sharing so much. I’ve learned to recognize when anything negative comes into my mind it is never from God, but from the enemy. The enemy’s lies cannot hurt me.

Confession is truly healing for the soul. A friend told me this week that anything we keep hidden in the darkness can no longer hurt us once we bring it up into the light and expose it. Today I feel as though I’ve turned the lights on in the basement of my soul and I’ve swept the space clean, including under the stairs and in the dark corners. Now that my hidden secrets have been exposed they no longer have power over me.

This definitely feels like progress!

We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it. ~William Faulkner

Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace. Romans 6:14 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, Jesus I thank you that you have set me free from hiding the pain of my past. Help me to walk confidently in this freedom now that I’ve been released from my emotional prison, refusing to be held captive by hurtful memories, shame or guilt. I love you Lord for giving me courage and continuing to love me unconditionally. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.