Diet & Wisdom Appetizers

As a little girl my father’s favorite term of endearment for me was “Butterball.” (Yes, I was a chubby little thing.) Being too young to realize that being compared to a fat round name brand turkey was more of an insult rather than a compliment, I was grateful for any attention from my father.

Even though my dad passed away over 10 years ago, there are still days I wake up and feel like Daddy’s fat, round Butterball little girl that didn’t have enough sense to know she was being ridiculed. In all honesty, I don’t think my dad called me that to be intentionally cruel. His was a different generation than the one my children are growing up in. It was simply his way. In those days, being the shy insecure girl I was, even negative attention from my dad was better than no attention.

Its funny how I can be trucking along feeling like a strong, confident woman who’s in charge of my own little block of the universe and then seemingly out of nowhere there’s a slight shifting of the sun, moon and stars and I wake up feeling like the Butterball girl. Those old insecurities resurface, I feel shy and hesitant unable to make concise decisions. I flounder in my feelings and convictions and would prefer to run and hide and make myself invisible – a neighborhood I’m quite familiar with.

I’m sure this Butterball feeling is directly related to a hormonal shift and the tiny zit forming on my upper lip. Perhaps the mass of freckles dotting my face; the direct result of my daily swim in the sun has propelled me back in time, as each time I look in the mirror I’m reminded of the 12-year-old girl I’ve tried so hard to forget. (Seriously, a woman of my advanced age should not have a face full of freckles. Although I suppose that’s a far better option than wrinkles.)

Perhaps it’s the melancholy that hits around this time each year as the kids prepare to head back to school and I’ve got another birthday looming in the next few weeks – another painful reminder that I’m not a young woman anymore.

I suspect the real culprit for my Butterball mood is simply my body’s way of reacting to what was a very positive upbeat weekend. I spent the whole weekend being “up” because I was invited to do a book signing for my novel.

Two days of schmoozing and chatting up my book and having people tell me how much they’ve enjoyed my book and I was floating on a cloud of self-importance and feeling uber confident. When you spend two days being that “up” the only place for you to go is back down again.

There’s nothing wrong with being pleased with our accomplishments and celebrating our victories. I do believe that God in His infinite wisdom is reminding me though that I need to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground and my head out of the clouds. I believe the Butterball image is a necessary reminder that GOD has brought me a long way and without remaining grounded in Him and firmly planted in the Word of God, it’s a very short fall back to being the Butterball girl.

I’ve worked hard to exorcise that Butterball image from my head but perhaps I’ll let it stay and visit to remind me of who I am and that I’m a long way from being “all that.” I’m still a work in progress and God’s not done with me yet. I’m forever being molded into the image and likeness of Christ and so enormously grateful that He loves me, Butterball and all.

What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now. ~Author Unknown

12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 3:12-14 (NLT)

PRAYER FOR TODAY: Lord, I thank you for keeping me grounded and on firm footing in Your Word. I thank you for occasional reminders from the past, but help me not to dwell in the past and focus on painful reminders. I’m no longer that person and you’ve brought me forward and are helping me to become the person you created me to be. I thank you that you are continually at work in my life. I ask all these things in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.